“Hungering and thirsting for more disturbs complacency induces a blessed state of disquiet, and propels our unending exploration into the Mystery of God in Christ. Accepting no substitutes for what we really want.” Ruthless Trust pg 103
There is a disquieting spirit inside of me. An unsettling. Almost anxious at times. Not being able to come to grips with that buried so deep. (Why is it that we ourselves are hardest to understand?)
There is something of an echo, a voice, a word or phrase inside that can not find it’s path out. So it claws on my heart, and growls at my soul fighting for space. The shifting and turning within is uncomfortable at best. Crushing at times. Leaving me wounded. Mourning. Broken.. What is it that is in there?
As a mother baring a child, starting off ever so small, knowing something magical is taken place inside of her. As the child grows movement begins. An Arm here. A foot there. Maybe even hiccups. But the baby is not removed. It is not time. It is in the fullness of time that the baby will be brought forth. (Not counting the critical issues that do arise.) The Mother knows something is different about her. She knows something is alive. The mother feels the stirring. The Movement. The Life inside.. And so do I.. There is something inside to be birthed. Something not of the Flesh, but of the spirit.
This something of the Spirit, is a live in me. It needs to be fed. It has to be nurtured. It must make room, pushing out all that is trying to occupy it’s space. So it stretches. It Kicks. A Heel poking up there.
It pushes, hand coming thru over there. You see the palm, the fist. You know it’s alive. Just not sure what it looks like. Ideas race thru the imagination. Things grandeur. Better. Yes, even More! It is Spiritual!
It is God. It is completely other. Mixed with humanness. Born of the Spirit. Clothed in Flesh. “And I will put my Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes” Ezekiel 36:27
Jesus said, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God. That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit.”
God is about new birth… Change. “Old things have passed away behold all things become new.” He sends forth His Spirit in to our inner most being. “Because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, “Abba, Father” Galatians 4:6
It is when this Infinite comes into our finite, that the pulling, kicking and pushing will occur. What the spirit is birthing in us, craves. It is jealous.. Longing to have sole ownership. It Craves. Eating up all our energy. Depleting us of our self-worth, and self-sufficiencies, we Hunger. We Thirst. Nothing will satisfy this, something completely other, spirit. The Spirit is hunting.. It is prowling.. Roaming to and fro. Seeking! Searching! Its hunger stirs us to want. The Soul growls for food. Our mouths draw tight, parched. We must have more. We hunger!
“Blessed are those that Hunger and Thirst for righteousness, they shall be filled.”
Yes, we want to be filled. Tired of emptiness. Hollowness… We live Shallow lives. Malnourished. Strong at times in our Flesh, ever so frail in our Spirits. Like glass, if dropped we would break.
The growl of the hunger pains grow. The sounds rumble from inside.. We have in times past drowned it out with the sounds of our TV’s,, Music, Friends and Games. We have Aborted so much which God has breathed into us for the sake of entertainment, friendship, and relaxation. We have sold our birthrights for quick meal, fix. An Easy pleasure. (Hebrews 12:16)
But not this time. Not Now! No More… It Stops here. “Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles.” Let us cast aside our desires, put down our TV remotes, let us come to the Bread of Life and eat of His flesh. Let us feast on His goodness. “For he prepares us a table before our enemies. Our Cups runneth over.” So, Let us drink from His cup, drawn from the well to deep for us to reach.
“Blessed are those that hunger and thirst after righteousness, they shall be filled.”
So, “let us not become weary.” “Let us press on to that High Calling.” Let us drink from the well of Christ, from this well come rivers of living water, flowing from our inner most being.
“Hungering and thirsting for more disturbs complacency, induces a blessed state of disquiet, and propels our unending exploration into the Mystery of God in Christ. Accepting no substitutes for what we really want.” There is a Disquieting Spirit inside of me…